Coming Back To Things

It’s Monday evening. It’s warm, stuffy and dry in the room as I type. I just spent an amazing weekend with good people doing great things, and now I realize that in a little over 14 hours, it’s back to work. Back to hours of writing, editing, throwing soft objects across the room in frustration and generally gritting teeth for a few hours. 

This got me thinking about what it means to come back to things, and not just the laundry basket full of things that need to be washed, or the fact that there are pending taxes or bills to pay, or just that what you come back to isn’t as exciting or enjoyable as whatever you’re leaving. 

I have a lot of items in a Dropbox folder called “WIP” or Works In Progress. I don’t store big drafts there (they get their own folder(s)), but whenever I get an idea or some thoughts together, they get scribbled into a text file or something and dumped into that folder so I can come back to them later. That “later” I suspect is intended to be some time that week, or at the next weekend, but more accurately, a lot of those ideas sit in that folder for years now, judging by the timestamps. 

And let’s face it, going out with someone you love and having a night spent laughing probably gets picked far more than developing “a card game about the Crusades” and you probably would choose breakfast in bed with a lover over “a short story of a woman with an amputee fetish”. 

What sticks out to me now is that in a lot of ways, these choices are binary: socialize vs solitary, intimacy vs individual, people vs progress. I hate having to choose between writing and anything else, since it becomes so situational as to which I choose, and that makes for a heady blend of selfish or guilty thoughts if I choose “the wrong one”. 

See, there isn’t a wrong one. Okay, yes, if you choose to get up and write when your partner wants you to come back to bed, they might be upset. Yes, you might have every intention of setting aside those hours to write, but as in Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way.” (Goldblum not included)

There’s no wrong choice because either of those two options are for your benefit. Yes, they’re different benefits, but you will be a better you with either of them, and I think that gets overlooked when we start to focus on what we’re not doing, on how we “should” be doing something else and how somehow what we are doing isn’t enough or good or right. 

That’s my takeaway on this Memorial Day Evening.

 

The sun is setting, so this might be a good time to get some writing done after all. 

 

Happy writing. 

Posted by johnadamus

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